I cannot believe that youd be the one whom im gonna spend the rest of my life with. It's amazing and unbelievable really. Who would have known that id be so madly and deeply in love with someone whom i met on the internet, 3 years ago. I cannot explain how i feel and how fortunate i am to be feeling this way. All i know is that you really love me, and i can sense it and i am sure of it.

I do not care about what anyone would say about you, and this includes my parents. I do not care whether theyve got the wrong impression of you because only i know who you truly are to me. I know whatever that has happened was horrible and embarassing for you, but despite that you never changed. I loved it when you came up with that idea coz its so funky! Haha.. I know i sound a little unserious by saying that but i am serious abt spending my whole life with you. Despite our differences in background, religion, (blahhx) I know you are the one for me coz ive never met anyone like you.. Yep.. I am gonna marry you.. I said it! I will MARRY you! :D

Its been more than 5 months that we've been together and ive never felt our love fade away. It's always growing stronger and stronger each day despite certain events. You showed your love for me through little kisses on the forehead, whispering "i love you"s, kissing my little hand and giving me big hugs. Thank you Trav, for always being there for me, for always reminding me that you love me(and always will), for sacrificing so much of your time and money and for giving me so much motivation and inspiration. You are one of a kind..

You telling me that im all you ever want in your life right now is a treasure. Sometimes i just wanna cry silently (not coz im sad) and hug ur arm until forever. I dont want this to go away.. I love spending my time with you, and that's partly the reason why i dont wanna go home early. I dont wanna end the day so soon and head home where i cant be with you. In fact, id start missing you right away.. Youre a treasure..

I love u Trav, and all i ever want is to go far away.. Where no one's gonna stop me from seeing you, or take you away from me.. Where its just gonna be the both of us living a carefree life..
It has been almost five months with the love of my life. Recently, things were'nt really as smooth going as we thought it would continue to be. I thought we had the same dreams and the same passion in the things we were doing together. To me, it was something i really treasured coz i felt that we connected through what we shared in our passion for playing music. You are like my partner in crime, my twin, my right hand. Not having the same dreams would mean us going in different directions, which would lead to the fall of Doll Trash, (omg, sounds like history class) which would also mean us not playing together in the band. I'd feel like as if ive lost my other half, my motivation and my true passion for playing music in the first place.

Although we arent really as similar as we thought we were in our dreams, i know you still love your music and the want to strum for more riffs and tunes would never disappear. I know that DollTrash has made an impact for you, just like how it has for me. Im glad we didnt let the "problem" persist and the sadness to linger, unsettled. Im glad we didnt choose to let it get into our relationship, but coming to think of it now, i dont find any reasons to why it should.. :D

Im sorry i ever allowed my mood to be inflicted upon you. If i ever did in the past, ill tell you honestly now that i never meant a word i said. And i look up to you for putting up with me despite the fact that you couldnt understand me at times.. Well, neither could i understand myself.. Sometimes a little gesture would ignite a flame but, you know how i am.. And you try your best to make me feel better even though sometimes you fail.. :P Haha..

Youre my heartbeat.

You know i can never do without you. I always promise that id be a better gf but i gez im not doing my job as well as you are.. Well im not implying that its a job/chore to be a better gf.. :P I just want to express myself to you, and to let you know and be sure that i really love you with all my heart. All these obstacles coming our way, are just tests for us to go through.. Im sure we'd be able to kick its ass just fine! I promise that its only gonna make us stronger. Whether we're similar in our thinking or not, im still gonna love you wholeheartedly coz youre THE ONE for me..

I love you.
Everytime i look at my parents and then at ourselves, i get really frightened. Is this what happens after more than a decade of marriage? Is this how a marriage is gonna be when we're 50 years of age? Despite how great we are together and how loving we are, my parents are making me doubt somehow. You tell me you know its not gonna be that way coz youre just really positive about that. I wanna believe you.

And i know that im not even doing my part as a gf. I dont know what im doing to us.. I dont wanna be like the others.. Sheeks.. i cant be bothered to think right now. My head is in a mess.. Why does my parents have to be so different from other parents? The way they think, its so straight and all.. They cant even handle their own relationship, much less handle their kids..

I gez id just try to be a different person.
I am so not band leader material. Someone please take over my job! It's not easy leading a band consisting of 3 guitarists, 2 keyboardists, 1 bassist, a drummer and 2 vocalist! That's like 9 people in total.. I just wish that theyd come into the studio more prepared, and i just wish my voice would be a little more consistant.. How can i not sing the songs that i handpicked myself?! Omiegawd..

I am so ashamed..

I feel so paranoid.. I dont wanna think so much.. I just wish my mind would only concentrate one one thing - SCHOOL. My transcription exam is almost 4 days away and im lagging one lesson behind in arranging.. Stupid me.. I feel so stupid! I am STUPID! Just wanna shut myself from the world sometimes so that i wont think of any negative thoughts that come to mind. I wonder if youd understand.. I think one day you wouldnt care anymore.. It'll be too much for you to handle.. Thats why i say im stupid and i just hate myself for that..

I just love how we are with each other. Im so used to our "closeness" or lets say, our everyday contact with each other that its so weird not getting to hold ur hand for at least 24 hrs. It's a paranoid feeling coz ive been seeing too much of you.. This is bad.. Blah blah blah blahhh,,,

Stop it Ev..

Alright,, Seesha-ed with Nick and Marcus after jamming today.. It was quite a great experience, but it just needed a bit of alcohol to make it an even better experience.. Nick was talking about how bad the service was at times.. (It was his usual seesha chill-out place) They'd take a longer time to serve chinese than malay customers. Wanted to chill longer, but i didnt think it was a good idea to stay out that late without Trav there with me.. Better to be safe than sorry! :D Grr.. Damn shagged.. Alrite! Time to head to dreamland!

I can never live without you.
It is such a turn off to see guys oggling at girls in bikinis in men mags.. I mean, i know they have their needs and stuff but at least they dont have to drool! OMG!! Just go hide in one corner and wank there instead of doing it in public! Ewl.. Major turn off.. Sickos..

Anyway, Doll Trash is now one member short.. Our bassist(She's not our EX bassist! Never will.. She's always a part of us! :D), decided to leave and now we're kinda like "auditioning" for a new bassist. Gawd, it was so emotional last night.. I felt like crying but i told myself, NO! I will not cry.. Cindy has been a great friend and band mate. Shared all kinds of experiences together and they'd never be forgotten. :D
"Auditioned" two bass players yesterday.. I didnt think they suit the band coza genre differences.. They were more into the punk scene while we were more into the alternative rock scene. (I think. :P) But anyhow, i think we've found our new bassist - Well, not really that new since i've worked with him quite a number of times. Woo! Cant wait for the new Doll Trash to start off! Say hello to new originals, and say hello to our new sound!

Gonna be really busy the next few days.. I've got one 2 hr practice tml at beatmerchant's for pop ensemble, (not including a 90 min long pop/jazz theory lecture in school tml afternoon) music practice in church the day after, another 2 hr long practice at wake me up music production studio for pop workshop and a 3 hr practice for lunchtime concert after that on sunday. On top of that, ive got lotsa other homework to do.. Grr!! Transcription exam is in a week and im so not prepared! :(

Sigh..Maybe you were too tired.. I shouldnt have played around with you.. Maybe i was just being selfish - AGAIN.. Oh well, wont be seeing you for the next two days since ive got so much to do.. Yep, i dont know how you understand me either.. Thanks for that comment, it struck me right in the face. As much as i love how close we are to each other, somtimes i hate being far from you.. I guess we spent too many times being TOO CLOSE to each other.. Maybe a some little holes and gaps in between would do us good.. Oh well, i know nothing is perfect and so are we - Although we are close to that.. haha..
Im too immature.. Im just too crazy over you.. You drive me so crazy that i just flip over and electricute myself.. *Youch!*

Arrr.. My dad lost my phone bill! How am i gonna pay my bills now? Grrr..

I cannot believe that youd be the one whom im gonna spend the rest of my life with. It's amazing and unbelievable really. Who would have known that id be so madly and deeply in love with someone whom i met on the internet, 3 years ago. I cannot explain how i feel and how fortunate i am to be feeling this way. All i know is that you really love me, and i can sense it and i am sure of it.

I do not care about what anyone would say about you, and this includes my parents. I do not care whether theyve got the wrong impression of you because only i know who you truly are to me. I know whatever that has happened was horrible and embarassing for you, but despite that you never changed. I loved it when you came up with that idea coz its so funky! Haha.. I know i sound a little unserious by saying that but i am serious abt spending my whole life with you. Despite our differences in background, religion, (blahhx) I know you are the one for me coz ive never met anyone like you.. Yep.. I am gonna marry you.. I said it! I will MARRY you! :D

Its been more than 5 months that we've been together and ive never felt our love fade away. It's always growing stronger and stronger each day despite certain events. You showed your love for me through little kisses on the forehead, whispering "i love you"s, kissing my little hand and giving me big hugs. Thank you Trav, for always being there for me, for always reminding me that you love me(and always will), for sacrificing so much of your time and money and for giving me so much motivation and inspiration. You are one of a kind..

You telling me that im all you ever want in your life right now is a treasure. Sometimes i just wanna cry silently (not coz im sad) and hug ur arm until forever. I dont want this to go away.. I love spending my time with you, and that's partly the reason why i dont wanna go home early. I dont wanna end the day so soon and head home where i cant be with you. In fact, id start missing you right away.. Youre a treasure..

I love u Trav, and all i ever want is to go far away.. Where no one's gonna stop me from seeing you, or take you away from me.. Where its just gonna be the both of us living a carefree life..